How to Put an End to the Pen Thievering

I’ve got a problem with people wandering off with my pens. I can’t stand those awful bic pens wihth their gummy ink and tendency to fail at crucial moments, so I buy good pens. Functional pens. Pens that disappear long before they die. When I find them, their new owner always says something like, “Oh, I don’t remember where I got that”

It’s Payback Time.